Days of our Lives: Letters to Bentley

I have all these things I want to tell Bentley, to teach him, and I'm so afraid I'll forget. So I've taken to writing letters to him....if I'm not here to tell him, I want him to know. Usually they flow from somthing I'm experiencing that he may too, some day. My latest one is titled..."For when you feel disappointed with God and the facts don't seem to add up." Now, before you right me off for having the word 'disappointment' in the same sentence as 'God', much less Him the subject.....let me explain. If we're honest, I think there will/have been times when we've all been disappointed with God~ He isn't moving fast enough; it feels like he's forgotten me; why won't he answer this prayer when he knows how important it is to me; ect. Even David, the man after God's own heart and bouts of disappointment with God. Usually I feel that way because I've lost sight of the FACTS and am looking for the ever elusive FEELINGS. So, if you're there, this may help you.....

Dear Bentley
There will be times in your life when the facts you know and believe to be true about God stand in direct contradiction to how your life is working out. I know, 'cause I'm there now. And finding the answer for myself, I hope I've found it for you as well.
If you're reading this letter, you may be feeling that God has forgotten you, He doesn't care, or He's choosing not to work in your life. You may be wondering what the point of being a christian is, after all. The temptations seem too strong, and the reasons to do right seem too weak, and it doesn't look like circumstances will ever change, so why bother.
How long will God allow me to be in this situation? Why am I here in the first place? What, or where is the meaning in all of this? I know, I've been there.
Son, here is what I know, I believe it with every fiber of my being, and if I have raised you well, you do, too.
The answers to these questions can only be found in the very One you may be disappointed in~ God himself.
When we get here, the Devil pours so many doubts in that we loose sight of the facts about God that we believe and know to be true.
So, first of all~ God Loves us. We know this because, if nothing else, of Jesus. There is enough evidence and truth about Jesus in the Bible to lend credance to everything else the Bible says...whether we understand it or not. So, based on that~ you may feel like your life is at a standstill, going no-where, empty, blah~ even if some of your most precious dreams are a reality. However, God promises that he will perfect those things which concern you. God has plans for you, good plans, prosperous plans, hope for a future; that even now He is working out~ though you can't see them~ and that's the hard part.
God's working in our life is most often very mysterious~ and this mystery causes us to wonder if he is even working at all. But he is always at work, doing something for our good.
I don't understand the mystery of how electricity gets from points A to B, but I enjoy the light over my dinning room table.
I don't understand the mystery of how physics and chemistry work, but I see evidence of it in the surface area of this table, the gravity holding it down and my ability to write this letter, the ink to flow. I don't know how everything works together to turn a loaf of raw dough into melt-in-your-mouth homemade bread, or a slight change in ingredients makes sugar cookies; or how water, milk, sugar, and coffe grinds work together to create the perfect accompaniment to....anything~ but I enjoy and appreciate the evidence of these workings.
So, have faith, Son. God is working in your life, in my life~ just look around for the evidences you can see, touch, taste, smell and hear ~ for me, it's His creation~ the glow of the monring sunshine, the sound of your sleepy voice, birds singing, the coffee in my cup, your baby smells (some not so pleasant, but evidence, nonetheless), the feel of your soft cheek next to mine, the love of family and friends~ if you seek, you'll find.
What to do when God doesn't make sense? Look for the evidences, no matter how small of what you know to be true about Him. ~
And in those evidences you'll find the meaning of life. Read Ecclestiases- and it'll all make sense. Because, Son, if you can't find these evidences of God, then life is meaningless. When we choose to find evidence of God, it gives the meaning back to life. It's like bringing a picture into focus, or turning a pencil drawing into a masterpiece of color and life. Jesus give abundance to life. He has the words of life. Anyone, everyone can live, but to truely enjoy life, you must have God as the center~ all else revolves around Him. Life without God is like so many fragments all spinning in chaos. God is the great Magnet that pulls it all together, holds it all together and makes sense of it all.
So enjoy the small things and in doing so, you enjoy God. For He has given us all things to enjoy, and only He gives us the ability to enjoy all things.
And last, but not least~ until your life makes sense again, until your blind faith has blossomed into seeing faith and God again gives you glimpses into His mystery, know that wahtever you'er going through cannot be compared with the glory that He is working and will reveal in you. While you are learning to enjoy the little bits of here and now, don't forget Heaven ~ where what you don't know and can't see won't matter anymore~ where your enjoyment of God will be complete, unobstructed, and a thousand upon thousands of times more dimensional than it is today.
So~ don't let your doubts go unanswered- they turn into disbelief- but answer them on what you know to be true and they'll turn into fact! Hold on, enjoy the evidences of God until you can see him again, and know wherever I am, wherever you are, I love you.
~Mom

And here are some pictures of my little 'evidence' of God.